Week #1
- David Foster Wallace wrote a very informational essay regarding lobsters, as well as the Maine Lobster Fest. I would have multiple questions to ask him, as his essay was very intriguing. First, I would ask Wallace what his reason was to write this essay, let alone research lobsters, going as a far as to explain their neurology. Secondly, I would have to ask him about what he hoped to gain from writing this essay. To me it seems like a random topic he chose out of a hat and decided to expand upon it as much as he could. I have to give him credit where credit is due, as he pulled me in almost right away with the possibility that lobsters may very well be from another planet. Wallace made multiple points within the essay that lead me to believe that he already had a partial vision as to what he wanted to write about, as he addresses both informational and moral aspects of readers interests. I would love to hear what Wallace planned about this essay and how much of the essay was concocted after he delved into the underwater world of lobsters. My last question for Wallace is why the Maine Lobster Fest was such an integral part of his essay. It was a subject that could have been left out entirely and the essay would have the a very similar effect.
2. A written discussion severely limits the question and answer interaction that can draw in even more of an audience. To me, a personal discussion by far outweighs reading an informational essay. I would rather be able to interact with the speaker and have my questions answers and clarified, rather than sit there wondering what the author meant or is trying to convey. An author must anticipate these types of questions if they are going to keep the audience that is reading the essay enticed and wanting to know more. The author needs to remember how they felt researching the topic they are writing about, and incorporate their original feelings into the essay so that they give the readers the same experience that they first had. When I write I would be sure to include explanations to each interesting fact i use in my writing. I felt that many of my questions arose due to facts that I had never known before, and therefore i found it very intriguing. I would also make sure to include details about each little metaphor or abstract idea that I include in an essay. I feel that if explained correctly, abstract thinking will draw in readers as they are also curious about those ideas.
Week #2
Drafting for me has been more or less of a hassle. I have always been told to utilize the drafting process, and for the most part I have. However, the last few years of high school, I decided to avoid the draft whenever I could. When a draft was mandatory, I would force myself to write the paper, but I would not complete it to the best of my ability. I usually would wait until the last minute to start my paper, because I could. Yet when I actually did have to complete the draft, I would, and then barely revise it after my peers edited it. I know that since I am in college, that I will put more effort into my essay’s, especially now that I have only a few papers that will influence my grade. As for revisions, I would reread my essay, looking for the obvious errors. Spelling and missing words would be corrected and I would then fill in any blank spaces I left on purpose to reword sentences, etc. As bad as it sounds,essays meant that I would draft one copy and after a quick midnight revision, I would hand it in the next day with no regrets. Essays have been a part of school that really was never my forte. Now, however, I feel that I have been improving, and I have the opportunity to use the writing process to my advantage.
Journal #3
The sun is shining down on the hot, black pavement. The breeze rolls slowly over the cars as they lay motionless on the freeway. A gray sedan lies on its side, The rust of the underside exposed. The wheels continue to spin freely on the axle as the smell of burnt rubber wafts through the air. Smoke rises into the blue sky as flames burst out from under the hood of a blue Range Rover. The whir of distant sirens resonates through the silence of the scene. AS the flames crackle in the car the door swings open as a middle aged man stumbles out, running from his car, breathing heavy as he holds his side. The sirens are now closer, the red, white, and blue lights reflect off the windows of the cars as the first responders arrive. The sounds of doors booms as the help rushes to the scene. The shouts are overpowered by the boom of an explosion as the Range Rover bursts into flames, covered in the orange fireball. The stench of burning materials covers the highway like a fog. The firefighters stand atop the flipped car, the sounds of tearing metal screeches as the jaws of life pry open the mangled door of the sedan. The cries of a mother can be heard as she pleads for the rescuers to save her baby. The sound of the stretcher rolling across the pavement comes right as the mother is pulled from the wreckage. The child is fished out from the back of the car and handed to the paramedics right as the car begins to smoke. Fire extinguishers unload the white foam onto the car as more smoke bellows out from the engine block. The engine of the ambulance roars to life as the sirens blare and it takes off down the highway.
Journal #4
When writing an essay I usually follow the five paragraph essay format. That is pretty much how English class has always worked, arguing for the thesis with three paragraphs, each supporting the argument with a separate point. They Say, I Say introduced a new template which is actually very helpful. It is most literally the “they say, I say” template, which helps to build an opinion and lead to an argument. Within the argument the reader either identifies with the original opinion, or the argument. This helps to draw the reader in a have a self commentary about the argument. This template seems like it will help me a lot on my writing. I usually used the 5 paragraph template but this provides a more argumentative approach. After reading the section in the book about the template, I found that much of the conversation my friends were having followed the template almost exactly. I found this very interesting as this is an everyday conversational piece, yet it can be turned into a very persuasive essay. I feel that i will be able to connect with the readers through my essays better now than I have in the past. This should also help me to draw out my essay, adding proper details, and correctly organizing them with the “they say, I say” argument. I believe that i will be able to create an essay that flows perfectly as the template will organize the argument and the evidence that I have, then compare it to what others think. By incorporating other people’s opinion in my essay, I will be able to broaden the audience and, most importantly, create a solid argument that holds up against criticism.
Journal #5
See menu for peer editing section
Journal #6
The peer editing experience was very helpful in my opinion. This allowed me to see what I needed to work on, whole also seeing what others did well, or not so well, that I could incorporate into my essay. The one thing I did not like about this edit was that it was on google docs rather than on a piece of paper. I find it easier to mark up a hard copy rather then a digital one. I think a second peer edit would be beneficial, as my group could critique the second draft, as they already have knowledge about the subject and the changes that were made.
Journal #7
Peer review was very helpful and gave me a sense of how much work I have to do in order to complete my essay for Wednesday. My group members gave good, constructive criticism to help me edit my paper to make it what It needs to be. I found this peer review to be a good exercise, as editing my group members papers gave me insight as to what I can improve on and add into my essay. Everyone had very similar structures in their papers so we all had a fairly easy time relating the edits to each others paper so that we wall benefitted from the review. Kaitlyn, Cam and Andrew really helped me to see what needs to be moved around in my essay to help the flow better. We also were able to help each other find the flaws and correct them in the essays.
Journal #8
I spent the most time revising my wording and making it more formal, as well as making it flow better. If I could change one thing I would put more focus into revising and reorganizing the essay to flow completely and fluidly between thoughts. I would also start writing the essay in a more formal tone, rather than in my own personal writing voice. This drafting and revising process wasn’t too different than my previous tendencies, aside from the large peer edit that we did. The peer edit helped to correct small things and to take a look at some big picture organization problems. However, I sometimes get so stuck on a paragraph or sentence being completely right, I overlook and discard some criticism. I feel that I did my best deciding which edits to make and which sentences to keep. I believe that my approach was fairly along the lines of the expectations. I know that my initial drafting process was not as fluid as I would have liked it to be, but I am working on improving my time management. I also have slightly improved on my revising skills and feel that I revised a good amount of what needed to be done. This being said, I may have left some things alone because I felt that they were okay, but we will see how that goes and then I can learn from my mistakes as I move onto the next paper. Overall, I believe that I have room to improve on my essay process and am only starting to realize how much help all the different processes can be.
Journal #9
Food is a partially a very social concept, which Carver uses to enhance the meaning of his story. In mist cases, people are in social situations when eating, and many meaningful meals occur with loved ones. This story uses the cake as the bridge between loved ones and food. The cake is called “Scottie” by the baker, and was made for his birthday. As weird of a connection as it might be, the baker and God are very similar. The parents pray that Scott is going to pull through after the accident, and once he passes they have no one to talk to, they are alone. They then go to the baker, first to confront him, but they end up talking. The Baker believes they are there to pick up the 3 day old cake, which is no longer good, similar to how Scott passed away. They then end up talking and being consoled by the baker, as he offers coffee and cinnamon rolls, while he consoles the sorrowed couple. Carver brings people together through food, as the one family consoles themselves over the stabbing of their son while they eat hamburgers. This is important because they are sharing something other than grief. The baker then talks about loneliness, which is a new concept for the parents, as they lost their only son. This talk led to reconciliation and a new understanding about the meaning of food and people.
Journal #10
Summarizing is essential inn writing, especially when writing about another piece of work. A summary of another work needs to get the point across without being too long and without being too vague. Summaries must capture the essence of another person’s writing, as it can easily be swayed by your own ideas. This means you must put yourself in the shoes of the other author in order to accurately portray their ideas without bias. Within the summary you must follow the “they say, I say’ template in order to correctly form the argument around the ideas of others. Using others ideas is a good way of supporting your argument, but it must be manipulated in the correct way in order for it to benefit the argument at hand. If the summary is done correctly, it will fit perfectly into the essay and support the argument the way it needs to. This guideline for summaries will be helpful in writing paper two, as it integrates multiple sources into the paper. I will be able to use the “they say, I say” template to help support my ideas with the help of others’ ideas about the same meaning of food.
Journal #11
Quoting is a strategy that can be very helpful in an essay when used correctly. Quotes from other authors can help to back up and support an argument and usually strengthens the evidence for that argument. In order to be used effectively, a quote must be introduced and fully explained. Quotes need to have the full explanation of the meaning, and especially the context. If there is no context as to what the quote supports, there is no way the quote will ever make sense to readers. The explanation of the quote also needs to be strong, as many readers may not know what the quote refers to or is trying to explain. When the author correctly explains and introduces the quote, the readers fully understand the point that the author makes by using the quotation. A hit and run quote, one that is just dropped into an essay, will leave a reader confused as to why there is a quote from another author in the middle of an essay without any explanation to it. Quotations will be a big part of writing in this next assignment and I need to be able to use them effectively to support my thesis. I will have to introduce the works that I am pulling the quote from, using the “they say, I say” model when I explain how what the other authors say and how that is supporting what I am arguing.
Journal #12
Jessica Mitford writes about the current funeral processions and the way that the dead are embalmed in her essay The way of American Death Revisited. Throughout this essay there is a subtle point that comes across, which is that the American funeral “ritual” is not part of Mitford’s views. It can be argued that the title even expresses this view, as many people do not question the process of a funeral, therefore this essay is out of the ordinary. Mitford points out the rush that morticians are in the embalm the body, as it is the best possible time in the cells life to preserve them after death. The negative connotation of this paragraph portrays the disgust that Mitford has for the rushed process. Secondly, Mitford incorporates a quote from a woman, who was very distraught at the American way of putting the dead to rest. This English woman described her experience as so horrifying that she “could never face another American funeral” even if she was dead. This quote helps to portray the inhumanity of this process and how the rest of the world does not even go to these extremes. Lastly, She includes the funeral “etiquette” and how the very real terms must be avoided during the process. The inhumanity of this process is explicitly shown here, as even the funeral directors do not acknowledge the totality of the loss which has occurred. They see the body as a person who is treated like they are not dead. In all honesty, it is a very polite process, but it does not do justice to the reality that the person has died and will no longer walk the earth.
Journal #13
Mitford provides an in depth information view into the process of funerals and the embalming method. One argument she makes is that the whole idea of showing a body at a funeral is genuinely an American custom. Nowhere else in the world does anything close to this. I agree with this claim as this is true in most parts of the world, as many places cremate the dead almost immediately and do not parade the dead around a week after their death. Another argument Mitford makes is that Funeral directors aim to have the service at their company, rather than outsource to another venue. I agree with this as the funeral directors need to make a living and fund the business so that they can make a living, but also provide valued service to the community. Mitford also takes s hot at the rushed process and how loved ones must send the body away to be embalmed immediately after death, and grieve for a week until the body can finally be put to rest. I find it hard to grasp this concept, as losing a loved one can be very hard, and then having to pay money just to wait a whole week until the grief is ignited again in full force seems kind of barbaric. Lastly, the insert about funeral etiquette seemed very interesting to me, as it was very nicely worded for the family of the dead, yet it was so out of touch with reality, as the person is truly dead, yet they make it seem like they live on. Mainly with regards as to how the embalm and use makeup to create a lifelike version of the person who is dead.
Journal #14
Doughty states that it was quite a powerful experience for her when she sends the body to be cremated, She furthers this point with the fact that there are things called witness cremations, where the family sends the body of a loved one into the oven. This to me seems like it would be similar to lowering a loved one into the grave, therefore I would be okay with being onvolved in this experience. However, she states that the crematory isn’t exactly family friendly, which shows that this process hasn’t been a family centered event. Doughty explains that she believes that the cremation process should become more humanized, She describes the modern crematorium as industrial, dirty and uninviting. She wants more families to come cremate their loved ones and experience the send off of their loved ones from reality. She feels that it is quite a honorable experience to send them off into the oven, and that it is sad that not many people stand by their loved ones sides even after their death. Doughty describes the witness cremation as very personalized and fulfilling as the families make it very personal with music, and very similar to a burial. Doughty talks about the fact that death should occur at home, and be followed by a home burial, which to me is a very weird concept and extremely surprising that this is becoming a movement. On the other hand, her conversation on witness cremation did not surprise me and seemed like a very reasonable event to become the new burial ceremony. Similarly, Mitford provides an insight into embalming. The process of embalming was actually very interesting and I found her passage about the reconstruction of limbs very surprising. However, her passage about people spending insane amounts of money on the dead did nit surprise me at all. On a completely different subject, the fast food industry, as highlighted by Pollan was interesting. I have always known about the unhealthiness of the food, so this passage describing the calories and corn in the food was common knowledge
Journal #15
David Foster Wallace’s Consider the Lobster dishes out informational points, but also provides a very moral dilemma, as lobster as=re boiled alive to be eaten. Recently, the works in class have dealt with morality as a subliminal theme, and the more we connect David Foster Wallace with these pieces, the more my thinking becomes skewed. As I reread Consider the Lobster, I was hit with a moral roadblock, as I love eating lobster, yet Wallace sets out the immoralities of this meal. To me, I found it very confusing as I was very adamant at first that cooking lobster was normal. Now that WE have read these other pieces, I finds myself questioning the morality in eating lobster, yet I cant do anything about it because I enjoy the meal too much. This text has been very similar to the others we have read, specifically, the omnivores dilemma. This text highlights the immorality of fast food chains and how the meals are not exactly healthy or beneficial to society. This can be connect to the lobsters and the methods for cooking them, as many animals go through a similar process to be made into a burger for a fast food chain. This has brought out this immorality of cooking the lobsters, especially now that this topic has been on my mind for a long time. However, there are still murky areas surrounding this subject. The fact that a lobster is a sea creature puts it a step down from a cow or pig per say, in my mind at least. Also, the fact that lobsters cannot feel pain puts a nail in the coffin for its case of immorality. I still have to decide where I stand, but at this point I finds myself leaning towards my original stance of eating lobsters, but just slightly seeing the immoral side of my meal.
Journal #16
The moral quandaries that Herzog details have been long discussed topics. The morality of using animals for testing, clothes and most largely, food, has always been debated. It is difficult to resolve this issue, as different animals are all seen differently, from dogs as family members, to salmon as food. Living in the troubled middle is liking to eat burgers and chicken, but also being hit with the moral dilemma that they are animals just like our pets and are capable of thoughts and emotions. Being human is usually classified in an anatomical sense, yet we also tend to consider people human because we have the mental capacity to create language and advance our knowledge. In looking at our relationship with animals, we can see our bias. Humans keep some animals as sacred, yet will slaughter others in horrible breeding conditions for food. While most beef farms and their equivalents can be justified, there are always the stories of mistreated animals that wind up on our dinner table. We as humans have the advantage as we have the ability to learn and advance our knowledge farther than any other species. Many other species have problem solving skills, which cause the moral dilemma. Herzog states that he found himself in a moral dilemma after thinking about feeding unwanted kittens to a boa constrictor. This illustrates the fact that people see some animals as pets yet, other as food, such as when people feed rats rather than kittens to a snake.
Journal #17
In they say, I say, the chapter Skeptics may object, outlines the need to address possible criticism. this chapter highlighted many interesting points to help increase the interest in an essay. One point I found very interesting is that there is a template included in the book to callout the specific critics. By calling out the specific critics, it highlights the points that others may make against the essay. This helps to improve the argument and show others the pros and cons of a certain topic. Secondly, I found the idea that some writers would discard an essay after finding a new criticism very farfetched. If I discovered a criticism to my essay, I would immediately revise it to address that new criticism and treat it as I was just editing my essay. In my opinion, editing the essay is way easier, just as the book shows later in the chapter. Insterting the templates to address criticism is very helpful, and will help to address other viewpoints in my future essay. Lastly, acknowledging the criticism and accepting it is another intersting point made by the book. THis can keep the essay modest, as the author knows there is a minor flaw in the argument, yet it still argues for a cause.
